Thursday, August 16, 2007

5 Easy Ways to Save Money During Your First Year

My first year in college, I burnt through cash like Pacman Jones at a Strip Club. I was making it rain from the cafeteria to the nightclub every day. By Summer Break I was eating crack rock flavored cocoa puffs for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Dont let this happen to you, by following these 5 easy suggestions, you can save hundreds, maybe even thousands, of dollars every year!

1.) Steal From the Bookstore
----Bookstore workers are either a.) incompetent people who wear school spirit wear or b.) ugly people who wear school spirit wear and dont look as good as the first type. Either way, your not going to get caught stealing from the bookstore. The first type of person wouldnt even realize you were stealing 4 bottles of Tylenol and a whole curriculum set on nude art. The ugly workers on the other hand, might realize you are stealing, but are far too intimidated by your impressive physique to question you. Cast a scowl on them and walk away!

2.) Dont Bring Your Car
----"No, asshole, I dont have to be DD just because you couldnt afford to bring a car to college!" sound like a conversation you often find yourself in? Avoid this by trading in your car for a pair of sporty roller blades. The girls/guys will be catcalling at you day and night!

3.)Attend Christian Oriented Activities
----Hey, who wants to party with Jesus?!?!? Sure, he doesent have any beer or kegs, but any party in the name of the Jesus is going to have free food, innocently hott chicks, and...well thats about it...but hey why the hell not?

4.)Steal from Frat Parties
----This is a personal favirote. For every frat party that demands you X your hand if your under 21, you should steal at least 4-5 items of value. You could see a lamp or a beat up paddle to the grimy Mexicans at a nearby flea market for at least 10-12 dollars. Thats big money man. We are talking an 18 pack of shit beer.

5.) Gamble
----God man, just do it, dont be a pussy! Gamble that scholarship away! It gives life an interesting zest when your washing the basketball teams dirty laundry for a year all so they wont hit that free throw that kills your spread. Hell Yes!

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