Thursday, March 19, 2009

Dose of Reality for Reality TV

The title reality tv is being thrown around just a little loosely these days. Its been beaten to death that most of these shows are at least somewhat staged but it's amazing how many viewers still feel like they can identify with and relate to the characters on many of these shows. I thought it would be appropriate for me to sort of touch base with all of these shows and offer just a taste of reality. For reals.
1. The Hills
-The tagline of the new season is, "You've lived through every moment with them...". This is true. Every Monday night when the Hills comes on, I cuddle up next to my 60 year old GE heater and eat a raw can of corn while drinking a can of Icehouse. If anyone has lived through LC's life, it is certainly me.

2. American Idol
-This show always gets me as the fans are the real joke. Hundreds of thousands of people get so caught up in the show they feel inclined to call in and vote and attend the "concerts" while bringing posterboards and shit-eating smiles. Is it really that exciting to watch a group of people with questionable talent and sky high ego's audition for a CHANCE TO SIGN WITH A LABEL? Jesus Christ I think the Chocolate Rain guy on Youtube got an offer three days after posting his videos.

3. Dancing With the Stars
-I dont know who the fuck watches this show. I would say old people but I dont think they approve of the diverse cast of latinos and coloreds. Sometimes I say a prayer deep down inside that the same crowd at the Dancing with the Stars show is also the group at American Idol, just a few days later.

4. The Real World
- All I can say is if I had to live in a house with 6 strangers, I would probably choose the local Homeless shelter over a chic pad filled with whining metrosexuals and hipsters. Im sure there would be an equal amount of trannies at either residence.

5. The Bachelor
- What do you call 40 women competing over 1 guy? Just another day in my life sweetheart.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Brace Yourself For 2009

A new year, a new beginning, and for TrendyFlavor, a new chance to be petty and spiteful towards our peers. Looking ahead, I can already see trouble looming. From the bloated egos of Obama voters to the emergence of the Jonas Brothers as a force to be reckoned with, I daresay the times they are a changing. Luckily, after a 6 month hiatus of scraping by and working my way through life like Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls, I am here to re-open Trendy Flavor.

To really kick things off with a bang, lets look at some of the shiteous trends of 2008 we can only hope will be forgotten:

1. Twilight- Fucking retarded. I dont know what could possibly be said about this movie besides that. Do I go with the homosexually inclined vampires or the wayward crowds of fans who look forward to nothing more than living vicariously through a collection of characters best described as "miserable".

2. American Idol- Every year I await its downfall and signs point to the end being near, but for now it fights on. A new host will be sure to add a ton of "spunk" and "female perspective". I especially cant wait for her and Paula to slap fives during the judgments and shout out "You go girl!" before hastily making their ways off stage when the cameras stop and engaging in some serious scissoring.

3. Politically Active Young People- I know, I know, im probably asking for too much but would it hurt so bad if a few kids from my generation jumped off the bandwagon now before reality bites them in the ass? Im doing these people a favor by even suggesting this. Yes, you managed to get all sappy and retarded and elect a guy who makes you feel important but in the next few months your going to realize that being important and being special straddle a fine line. Also, you suck.

4. Bud Light Commercials- Because nothing says I love a good time like hanging out with a diverse set of friends in a Harlem street corner while determining whether beer is a meal. Im going out on a limb and guessing that the very Bud Light the surfer-dude main character was wearing was probably his last meal, and a shitty one at that.

5. People calling themselves "laid back"- Is everyone in this world "laid back"? One would certainly have to assume this because if you asked 100 college students how theyd describe themselves and their friends, 99 of them would answer laid back. The other one would answer "chill". Last time I checked, nobody is ever actually laid back. They just have certain buttons and while some have more than others, everyone stresses out about something and can be an uptight prick. Next time someone tells you differently punch them in the dick and see how laid back they really are. Yeah, thatll teach em.