Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I ABSSSSOLUTELY love those Southern Gentlemen!

As per usual, during about the 5th hour of facebook stalking I had endured today after work, I was disgusted to discover a new group I had been invited to, "I Love my Southern Gentleman!".

Now...normally I just hit deny and go back to my search for nip slips. Today, however, I was much too curious to see just how backwards the world has come to. From the moment the home page loaded, I was blinded with croakies and cheesy bitches who still call black people "coloreds". Could I possibly have stumbled into the new gate to hell? Could everything thats wrong with the world actually be summed up in one facebook page?

The answer is yes.

35 pictures of chubby frat boys with names like Grayson and Carlton waving Blue Moon that they likely never finish and visors saying shit like "Oak Ridge Slaveholders Club", 100 wall posts from girls without a single flaw praising these guys, and not one man brave enough to have challenged these people so far. I was appalled.

Call me a hater, call me jealous, but I think we need to clarify some shit here.
1.)The Southern Gentlemen are guys who ride on boats theyre parents purchased.
2.)The Southern Gentlemen belieive they are handsome and manly, even though they had a servant put on those lift kits to the custom Jeep and they lack chins due to poor genetics from their British and inbred roots.
3.)Southern Gentlemen like to go out of their way to fulfill a stereotype, even if it means selling their soul. This includes relentlessly hitting on every girl in site by telling her, "Hey, you should come drink Bud Light on my dads boat with me!" or "Hey, let me hold that door for you, god knows im strong enough!"
4.)The Southern Gentleman is extremely scared of everyone not named Grayson or Carlton and will usually avoid contact with anyone outside of their tax bracket. This may be because they are elitists, or it may just be because they will indeed get a massive ass whooping which no man can measure.

So please, refrain from the Southern Gentleman comments, these jackasses cant even string together their own croakies let alone be someone unique.

No comments: