The Trendy Gangsters Handshake

I like to shake hands as if im clamping a slap of concrete. I squeeze so tight I want to hear your knuckles pop. To me, it means im the man, and thats whats important in life...knowing your the man.

Unfortunately, one of the many cultural diffusions from black people that has seeped into middle class white society is the complicated handshake.

I know, i know, when im drinking, nothing is more satisfying in the world than completing one of these handshakes with a black guy. It means your the shit, your open minded, your real, your penis is gigantic. Come on though, does shaking hands really need to be so difficult? I promise, it never looks cool to see some caucasion goobers slap hands. No girl appreciates it. Youd be much better off breaking that fuckers hand.