Sunday, June 8, 2008

Pre-Alcoholics Society

The time has come, when a few enlightened, sophisticated young men must stand up for what it is they believe in and fight a battle that will test them in every way imaginable.

People of Charlotte and its surrounding hoods and suburbs, I have decided to form the Pre-Alcoholics Society. What this society represents is a group of young people willing to give up all the gang signs, all the facebook taunting, all the jager-bombs and red bull breakfasts and embark on a mission to drink beer, and drink it often. Too many imposters walk the streets of Charlotte claiming they can drink any man under the table. These people trick the girls we know and love into believing them and before you know it, your drinking alone again while they share a Bud Lite with your girlfriend.

Its time we re-claimed our streets. We must challenge these posers to drinking games, promote events in which they will be forced to back up their bravado, and drink until we become homeless or full fledged alcoholics.

In the wide world of drinking, there are no winners and certainly no glamour, simply those who passed out and those who did not. Let fate decided which one you become tonight.

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