Thursday, October 4, 2007

Ask One More Question and Im Calling You Fat

5 minutes left.
Desperate just to get out of class for 15 minutes and get lunch before heading off to work.
Professor looks bored.
I feel bored.
The lesson has been learned, lets just call it a day.
Oh fucking no!
The girl in front of me who looks part pig, part hippo, part banshee has decided todays lesson didnt quite whet her appetite yet. Shes got a little question to ask.
Well isnt that cute.
I never understood the concept of students asking questions about menial shit. First of all, why do you give a shit? The answer the teacher will supply is never satisfactory. Why not just go home and wikipedia why Bhagavad Gita is still popular in India?
Well, someone never sent this memo i wrote up to banshee fatty in front of me.
And so we wait...
and wait...
and wait until finally the teacher stops giving her the evil eye because she just ruined his chance to get to the crapper and try to piss out a few kidney stones before hotwiring his piece of shit car and heading to a matinee movie.
Suddenly teacher is overcome by all of the past movies like Freedom Writers and Dangerous Minds. Suddenly he thinks to himself "Hey, maybe I am making a difference in these kids. Maybe this girl represents the whoooole class!"
And so he rambles.
Youve been there, Ive been there, how are we going to fight off these students who ask questions right before class ends?
I have a few observations that may help in the battle to profile and root out these evildoers.
1. Ugly
2. Fat
3. Librarian Glasses
4. Sandles
5. Ugly as fuck...did i mention that?

If you see one of these students in your classroom, immediatly rush out and skip this lecture, for you will not be coming home until well after night fall.

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